Is This The Apple Car?

July 11, 2016

The Apple Car

No.

Still, it’s fun to speculate.

My guess is that you won’t go to a showroom to pick out your Apple Car, you won’t take one for a test drive and you won’t leave it charging in your driveway at night. Instead, you’ll just ask Siri for one when you’ve got someplace you need to be.

It’s not just another ride sharing service, nor mere self driving Uber that I’m imagining. I see a car personalised just for you, customised in app while it was on the way: selecting exterior colours and adornments to match your style, interior lighting to suit your mood, configuring a sporty or relaxed ride, with your playlist starting as you open the door, and all set to be driven by an overly entusiastic t-shirt clad human driver (high fives available on request) or by you if you prefer.

If, as many speculate, the future of cars doesn’t involve owning your own or even driving all that much, the most interesting innovation in cars might be how to continue to allow people to express themselves (and show off their wealth or various other kinds of superiority) through their car. You wouldn’t be seen dead in some random could be a Toyota Lyft - no, you’re picked up in the electric Apple Car (not the Sport) with rose gold trim, you drive yourself because you’re into that sort of thing, and you adorn the outside with retro geek stickers and funny gifs.

Basically it’s the automotive version of the messages app from iOS 10, app platform and all.

(Or, perhas more likely, it’s just a regular car but a bit fancier and more expenseive. The edges will be unapologetically chamfered, the range lacking compared to a Tesla but forgivable for some reason and the biggest ovation of the introduction will be when Phil Schiller shows us how the wipers won’t stop halfway across the windshield if you turn it off in the rain.)